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Polygamy In The Bible
Polygamy in the Bible! What is polygamy? Poly means “many,” and Gamy refers to marriage, so it means one man with two or more wives. Is this a man’s fantasy come true or a nightmare that destroys him? Have you ever wondered why our humanistic world criminalizes polygamy and winks at adultery while the Bible criminalizes adultery and regulates polygamy?
Many Christians have been puzzled by why famous Bible people like Jacob, David and Solomon were polygamous while others like Adam, Noah and Moses were monogamous. If God cared about their family choice, He did not say anything about it. Why?
God's Standard For Marriage
Before we look at the thorny issue of polygamy, we must clearly establish what God’s ideal standard for marriage is.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”…For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Gen. 2:18, 24, NASB
God gave Adam the enormous task of managing His world. To aid him in this work, God created a helper for him. No one has had a greater job than Adam, yet God gave him a single helper, knowing it would be enough.
Jesus confirmed this relationship of one man and one woman for as long as they both shall live as God’s ideal plan for mankind when He said in Matthew 19 verses 4 and 6:
And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female…So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.” [NASB]
God's Marriage Requirements For Leadership
This is further confirmed by God's requirement that anyone in leadership be monogamous. In Deuteronomy 17, verse 17, God forbids a king from having multiple wives—a law David, Solomon, and others violated. In Leviticus 21, verses 13 and 14, not only could a priest have only one wife, but she also had to be a virgin before they were married. Paul continued this standard in the New Testament by requiring in 1 Timothy 3 verse 2 that church leaders have only one wife.
While leaders are required to be monogamous, they also set the example for everyone else. Clearly, God's ideal plan and standard is one man and one woman for as long as they both live. However, the fact that these laws were necessary reveals that polygamy was a part of both Jewish and Christian society, although not as common as often supposed for reasons that we will reveal shortly.
Why Does God Regulate Polygamy In The Bible?
Why does God forbid adultery and allow polygamy? And why would many Christians rather deal with adultery than a man with multiple wives?
Adultery is a vicious attack on a marriage and a family. It is a violation of the Covenant between a man and a wife. It is a betrayal of one who should be loved and cherished above all other human beings. As a knife in the heart of a family, adultery is also an attempt to murder Godly society, which depends on the stability of the family.
But Christians find this easier to deal with because there is no real commitment involved on the part of the adulterers. The relationship can often be severed, quickly “forgiven,” and everyone can get on with their lives. Tragically, if the adulterer is well-liked in the Christian community, the innocent spouse can be blamed because “if they were doing their job, this never would have happened.” The heart of God weeps at such injustice.
The Bible regulates polygamy as an inferior form of marriage instead of outright forbidding it because it is still a covenantal relationship. Vows have been given, which must be honoured before God and the community. The relationship cannot simply be abandoned when it becomes inconvenient. Christians don’t like this because then they have to deal with the people involved instead of having a “forget and move on” policy. It can get messy.
Why does God regulate polygamy in the Bible? God is pure and holy. He has a perfect standard by which all people and things will be judged. But God is not naive. He knows that we live in a sinful world. He is well aware that between white and black can stretch a grey zone. This is a dangerous territory to be in because God will never compromise His standards or His integrity, yet He knows that sometimes there are no good choices.
Two Extremes
Christians often go to one of two extremes.
First, they may hold uncompromisingly to the ideal standard, forgetting that we live in a sinful world. These people tend to become legalistic. In their desire to uphold God’s standard, they cause much harm. For example, missionaries have gone into primitive polygamous societies and then tried to uphold God’s monogamous standard for people already in such marriages. These new converts want to please God, but what can they do? Choose their favourite wife and kill the rest, or divorce them, leaving them destitute and starving? The results have sometimes been tragic, not God-honouring.
Paul gave Timothy instructions about this. In his time, Christians were not entering into polygamous marriages. They, like us, knew and honoured God’s standard. But some new converts were already in such marriages. Paul did not demand that they break up these marriages, but he did state that they could not be in church leadership.
Second, the opposite extreme is to commit the sin of pragmatism. It embraces the idea that whatever works must be right. God does have an uncompromising standard. Sometimes, solutions that seem to work are violations of the Word of God and must be condemned. We must examine the Word of God for God’s perfect standard AND what He will permit under certain circumstances in an imperfect world. For example, Rahab lied to protect the spies. She is commended several times in Scripture, including in Heroes of the Faith in Hebrews 11, and her method is never criticized.
Historical Reasons For Polygamy In The Bible
Now, let’s look at the historical reasons men have married multiple wives.
1. Kings and other high government officials need people they can rely on to help them rule. Multiple wives have been an ancient form of the civil service. Their husband can count on them to work with his best interests in mind. This was better than entrusting important affairs to less committed people who could be bribed or betray him.
Often, a national trade or peace treaty would be completed by one king giving his daughter to the other king in marriage. This would draw the two nations closer together. The father would depend on his daughter to best represent the needs of her home country, and the new husband would trust her to communicate his desires to her father. She was what we call today an ambassador. This is most likely where many of Solomon’s wives came from.
2. In poor societies, a wife and children often work the farm to help the family survive. In these cases, a woman usually welcomes an additional wife or two to help ease her burden.
3. In rare cases, a war or disaster could decimate the population so that multiple wives and large families were needed. For example, during the Thirty Years War, so many men were killed that polygamy was temporarily legalized to rebuild the population.
Polygamy In The Bible:
Sexual Freedom Or Family Chaos?
Although in our modern sexualized society, having more than one wife is viewed solely from a sexual perspective, sex has not been the primary motive throughout history. In some cases, such as when the king married the widow of an important officer to help manage his business, sex has not been involved at all.
The idea that a man having multiple wives gives him the freedom to do whatever he wants is not matched by reality. There is a Biblical story found in Genesis 30, verses 14-16 illustrates this:
Now in the days of wheat harvest Reuben went and found mandrake fruits in the field, and brought them to his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.” But she said to her, “Is it a small matter for you to take my husband? And would you take my son’s mandrakes also?” So Rachel said, “Therefore he may sleep with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.” When Jacob came in from the field in the evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, “You must have relations with me, for I have indeed hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So he slept with her that night.
In this story, Jacob comes home from a hard day’s work, looking forward to peace and quiet with his favourite wife, only to find out she has “sold” him for the night for a few bites of food to his least favourite wife. Rachel obviously had not read How to Make Your Huband Feel Valued!
The polygamous marriage is not a marriage of peace, tranquillity and sexual freedom. The wives bicker and fight among themselves for position. If children are involved, each maneuvers to get her children the best deal and most inheritance. Yet, they will unite as women against the man, making his life miserable.
If the husband buys something for one wife, he must make sure he buys the same thing for each wife - without it being the same, of course. If one wife perceives what she got was of lesser value than any of the others, then storm clouds will roll. If one wife gets something better, she lords it over the others. This applies not only to material things but to the husband’s affections as well. Of course, one wife will boast to the others how good her husband was with her in bed last night. The next one, whose turn it is, will expect a better performance and boast of it. The husband then faces increasing expectations based on exaggerated performances no matter how tired he is. No one can be denied their rights!
It is not surprising that in societies that embrace polygamous marriages, women are both feared and hated. Buddha said, “Woman is the personification of evil” [quoted in Institutes of Biblical Law, pg 367]. Even in a society where the husband has the right to kill his wives, he must often sneak into the bedroom of one to avoid the rage of the others. And few very husbands are powerful enough to ignore enraged in-laws who will plot against him if they feel their daughter has been mistreated.
God's Word Works!
Even though the Bible regulates polygamy, as it does slavery and divorce, it is not because it approves of it. The Law of God always works to reveal His glory, practically deal with evil and protect the innocent. The Biblical laws on multiple wives gave the wives legal rights and protection against abusive or neglectful husbands while at the same time looking forward to the day when such laws would be unnecessary because the ideal had become the standard.
Studies have shown that societies which allow or promote sexual licence are headed toward self-destruction. R.J. Rushdoony has commented, “Mental development and cultural advance go hand in hand with the development of a strict monogamy and pre-marital and post-marital chastity” [Institutes of Biblical Law, pg. 367]. God’s Word works!
Note polygamous marriages were to be voluntary unions. Any forced or pressured marriage is essentially abuse and rape and not a valid marriage.
Reference Material For
Polygamy In The Bible
Institutes Of Biblical Law Volume One by R.J. Rushdoony. [Take our Biblical Law course!]
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